"10 Ways To Make Your Neighbor Move"

1. Order pizza and other food to their house
and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that
you don't have a phone.

2. Stand over the plants in your yard with a
hose and scream, "I have your life in my
hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each
one and declare them good or bad plants,
while watering the bad ones.

3. Bring them restraining orders on inanimate
objects in their house.  (i.e., chairs, books,
lamps, etc.)

4. Ask them if you can put your trash in their
cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of
bodies," then stutter and say, "I uh mean
other garbage," walk away laughing hysterically.

5. Patrol the perimeter of your yard while
carrying a broom. If they come close state
that their is a 3 foot neutral area between
the two yards.

6. At night transplant the plants in their garden.
In the morning say, "looks like they're on the
move again."

7. When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair
behind their window. Sit down with popcorn
and a drink and ask them if they could open a
window so you can hear too.

8. Build snowmen with name tags of your
neighbors each day hack off a different part
of their body.

9. Use your TV remote to change the channels
on their TV from outside. If asked why, say you
protest such programs. (The more educational
the program the better.)

10. Dig shallow graves at night filling your yard
with brown grave patches. Make markers out
of household appliances.