THE DENTIST
Dentist to Patient: begging " Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?"

Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock football game.

Two old ladies were rocking on the front porch, talking about their dead husbands.
One said to the other, "Did you have mutual orgasms?" The other thought for awhile and said,
"No...I think we had State Farm."

What is the difference between and old hooker and a young hooker?

A young hooker uses vaseline and an old hooker uses poly-grip.

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my f***ing ass."

Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.

"That's okay," she said, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my f***ing car."

"Beat That"

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What
are you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?" The first guy replies, "I'm going to go back and get her."