"Idiot Olympic Questions"
===========================

Here are some of the classic questions that
were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee
via their Web site, and answers supplied where
appropriate.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have
never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants
grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person
who asked this question, who themselves will
need watering if their IQ drops any lower...

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
(USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin
or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun
in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics
are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow
the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll
need to have started about a year ago to get there
in time for this September...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
(Sweden)
A: And accomplish what?

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses
of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: I'm not touching this one...

Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper
into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)
A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...

Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in
Australia? (Portugal)
A:  ??

Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or
two? (UK)
A:  Er...  Wrong continent.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No. Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples'
garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde....

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
(France)
A: Yes. At Christmas.