"Things To Do At Wal-Mart..."
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Are you bored?  Here are some things to do at
Wal-Mart while the wife/girlfriend/significant
other is taking her/his sweet time
Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa shopping....

1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them
in people's carts when they are not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the
restroom.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an
official tone "I think we have a code 3 in
housewares," and see what happens.

5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn
them all off and turn the volumes to 10.

6. Challenge other customers to a duel with tubes
of gift wrap.

7. Put M & Ms on layaway.

8. Move  "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to
carpet areas.

9. Set up a tent in the camping departments; tell
others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows
from the bedding department.

10. When someone asks if they can help you,
begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people
just leave me alone?"

11. Look right into the security camera and use it
as a mirror while you pick your nose.

12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up
a full scale battlefield with  G.I.Joes and X-Men.

13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey
Poupon.

14. While handling guns in the hunting department
ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants
are.  (They have guns in Wal-Mart? - LadyHawke)

15. Switch signs on the men and women's bathrooms.

16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the
theme from "Mission Impossible."

17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.

18. In the auto department practice your Madonna
look using different size funnels.

19. Hide in the clothing rack and when people
browse through say, "Pick me!!  PICK ME!!!!!"

20. When announcement comes over the loud
speaker assume the fetal position and scream,
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

21. Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them
you don't get out much and would they put one of
those little umbrellas in it.

22. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud.....
"Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"