A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his 
gorgeous, sexy blonde wife alone.  The night before he left, he brought home 
a vibrator and gave it to her.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, 
winking.  "Just think of it as something to take my place when you get horny."

A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vibrator in the garbage.
"Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away?  I told you, you should use it 
in my place when I'm gone."

"I did," she said.  "But the damned thing rattled my fillings loose."