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Bumper Stickers to Ponder

  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
  • A penny saved is ridiculous.
  • All that glitters has a high refractive index.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be

    lazy.

  • Anarchy is better than no government at all.
  • Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
  • Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
  • Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
  • Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
  • Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
  • Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.
  • Entropy isn't what it used to be.
  • Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to

    reality.

  • God did not create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter

    on the 6th.

  • Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
  • History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each

    other.

  • It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
  • It works better if you plug it in.
  • It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
  • Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better

    lawyer.

  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
  • Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and

    stupidity.

  • Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
  • She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
  • You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be

    misquoted, then used against you.

  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Pardon my driving; I am reloading.
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.




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