COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM


  1. Describe your problem: __________________________________________

  2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ___________________________

  3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________
     _________________________________________________________________

  4. Problem Severity:          5. Nature of the problem:
      __A. Minor                    __A. Locked Up
      __B. Minor                    __B. Frozen
      __C. Minor                    __C. Hung
      __D. Trivial                  __D. Shot

  6. Is your computer plugged in?                           Yes__ No__

  7. Is it turned on?                                       Yes__ No__

  8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?                     Yes__ No__

  9. Have you made it worse?                                Yes__

 10. Have you read the manual?                              Yes__ No__

 11. Are you sure you've read the manual?                   Yes__ No__

 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?           No__

 13. Do you think you understood it?                        Yes__ No__

 14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
     _________________________________________________________________

 15. How tall are you?  Are you above this line? _____________________

 16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem
     occurred?
     _________________________________________________________________

 17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
     _________________________________________________________________

 18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?         Yes__ No__

 19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________

 20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________

 21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?  Yes__ No__

 22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?  Yes__

 23. Did you install any non-corporate standard software
     on your computer recently?                             Yes__ No__

 24. Are you sure you haven't installed any non-corporate
     standard software on your computer recently?           Yes__ No__

 25. Did any non-corporate standard software magically
     appear on your computer recently that you don't have
     a clue where it came from?                             Yes__ No__

 26. Did a co-worker force you to install some non-corporate
     standard software on your computer recently?           Yes__ No__

 27. Are you interested in our non-corporate standard
     software installation witness protection program?      Yes__ No__