The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
        The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know!  You're
getting a ticket!"
                                ........

        A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.  The
judge said, "What will you take....30 days or $30."
        The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."
                                ........

        A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be
executed.  "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.
        "Yes," replied the murderer.  "Will you hold my hand?"
                                ........

        Two robbers were robbing a hotel.  The first one said, "I hear
sirens.  Jump!"
        The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
        The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be

superstitious."