.....I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
     until one night he came home sober.

     ---------------------------

     .....I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I
     confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it
     would never happen again.

     ---------------------------

     .....My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
     every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

     ---------------------------

     .....I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not
     even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

     ---------------------------

     .....I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the
     pill for two years.  It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend
     should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to
     discuss money with him.

     ---------------------------

     A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.
     One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in
     her mid-twenties.  These two women go everywhere together and I've
     never seen a man go into their apartment or come out.  Do you think
     they could be Lebanese?

     CURIOUS

     ---------------------------

     My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her
     mental pause.

     ---------------------------

     I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting
     officer.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible?

     KAY

     Dear KAY: Only if they don't work.
     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
     he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?

ANNIE

     Dear ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but
     if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a
     little gift?  I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he
     finally did it.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife
     had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me,
     can a baby this big be that early?

     WONDERING
     Dear WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
     Forget it.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: Do you think about dying much?

     CURIOUS

     Dear CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at
     the same time?

     JAKE

     Dear JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but
     I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

     SAM IN CAL.

     Dear SAM: Yes. Run for public office.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: What inspires you most to write?

     TED

     Dear TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my
     age with no bad habits.

     ROSE

     Dear ROSE: So would I.

     ---------------------------

     Dear ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

     BESS

      Dear BESS: Night and day.