FATAL THINGS TO SAY IF YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT
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"I finished the Oreos."

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty
pounds."

"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a
baby..!!"

"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

"Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
from that Richard Simmons fella."

"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard
Scott!"

"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

"Get your *own* ice cream."

"Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

"Got milk ?"

"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger........."