"Feline Physics"
===================

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless
acted upon by some outside force, such as
the opening of cat food or a nearby scurrying
mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there
is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract
cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness
of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body,
except in the case of a cat, in which case all
heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional
to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever
possible, in a position as uncomfortable for
the people involved, and as comfortable as
possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach
just about any counter top that has anything
remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position
to obstruct the maximum amount of human
foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until
he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything
good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state
for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a
human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created
nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little
energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored
by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along and take out
something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump
into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over,
the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain
a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human
laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just
to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place
possible; often the mid-section of an
unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own
volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human
expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy
to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter =
It Doesn't Matter.