Little Tommy was spending the weekend with his grandpa. On Saturday afternoon, Tommy walked into the study to see his grandpa lighting up a cigar.
"Grandpa! Grandpa!" says Tommy. "Can I have some of your cigar?" "Well," says Grandpa."Does your penis touch your asshole?" "No, grandpa, it doesn't."
"Then you're not a man yet. Ask me again when you're a man," says Grandpa.
Tommy, disappointed, goes off to play in the backyard. Sunday afternoon, Tommy and his grandpa have just finished lunch. Grandpa gets up and pours himself some bourbon. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" exclaims Tommy. "Can I have some of your whiskey?" Grandpa sits back in his chair, leans back and takes a long guzzle before answering.
"Well, grandson," says Grandpa. "Does your penis touch your asshole?" Tommy bows his head and says,"No Grandpa, it doesn't." "Well, son," says Grandpa. "You're not a man yet. Come back and ask me when you're a man."
By now little Tommy is extremely bored with the whole situation. He decides to go to the corner store, where he manages to purchase a scratch-and-win lottery ticket. He scratches, and finds that he has just won two million dollars. Thrilled, he runs back to Grandpa's house. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" shouts Tommy. "I just won two million dollars!" Grandpa bounces out of his chair, spilling bourbon all over the floor. "Well now, son," says Grandpa. "Are you going to share some of that with your Grandpa?"
"Well Grandpa," says Tommy. "Does your penis touch your asshole?" Grandpa smiles confidently and says,"Why yes, Tommy, it does!" "Well," says Tommy. "Then go fuck yourself!"