A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one
day.  He was glad for the interlude, because it taught him how
much his wife loved him.

She was so thrilled to have him around, that when a delivery man
or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled, "My husband's
home!  My husband's home!"


*****************************************************************


A man swallowed a dud coin late last night. He is expected to be charged
with passing counterfeit money later today.



What do cannibals eat for breakfast? - battered host.



Late last night a large hole was made in the walls surrounding a nudist
camp. Police are looking into it.



******************************************************************




"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I
was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper.  But my
son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."

"So what do you do?" asked his friend.

"I send him to MY room!"



*******************************************************************


James: I bet I can jump higher than your house.
John: Ok!! $10 says you can't!
James then lifted his feet and jumped three feet into the air. 
John: Ha!! the 10 bucks are mine!
James: No sir! It's the house's turn now!