The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into
bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said.  "I was just in the bathroom
powdering my penis with aspirin."


**************************************************************

A young boy was kneeling by his bed and saying his prayers and
asked God to make him a good boy.

The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son
praying "And make me a good boy if You can.  And if You can't,
don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having fun the way I am."


**************************************************************


A long, long, time ago, when I was 19 or 20, I went to a bar with an
older friend.  The guy at the door asked for my ID.  I gave him my
driver's license, which of course had my date of birth printed on it.

He looked at it and said, "You have to be 21 to get in here."  I
replied, "That ID is a few years old."

He looked at it again for a moment, then said "Oh, OK" and let me in.


***************************************************************


A lady in a supermarket line up got her stuff scanned by the cashier. One
product didn't have any price on it so the cashier had to call for price
check. "Price check for Tampax ... large" was blurted out in the intercom
embarrassing the lady. However the price checker thought it was "Thumb
tacks" instead of "Tampax" so he answered back through the intercom and
shouted "Is it the one you stick in with your thumb or the one you have to
hammer in ?".

****************************************************************


Q: How come a blond can't waterski? 

A: Her legs spread when her crotch get's wet 


*****************************************************************


Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? 

A: A hooker can clean her crack and sell it again! 


*******************************************************************


Q: Did you hear about the new Marilyn Monroe stamp?  

A: When you lick it, you feel like one of the Kennedy's 


*******************************************************************


    A student came back to the dorm to find his roommate near tears.
"What's the matter pal?" he asked.
    His roommate moaned, "I wrote home for my parents to send money so
that I could buy a laptop; and they sent me the laptop!"


*******************************************************************


    The boyfriend said, "We're going to have a GREAT time Saturday. I
got three tickets for the big game!"
    "Why do we need three?" asked his girlfriend.
    "They're for your Father, your Mother, andyour kid sister," he replied.


********************************************************************

    The college President hired a new Admissions Administrator.  At the
conclusion of the interview he said, "Please don't tell anyone what
we're paying you."
    "Don't worry Sir," the new bureaucrat replied, "I'm as ashamed of
my salary as you are."


*********************************************************************