Little Johnny Quickies

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.

Little Johnny: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Class: Little Johnny!

Teacher: Are you chewing gum?

Little Johnny: No, I'm Little Johnny.

Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?

Little Johnny: I get up early.

Teacher; Didn't you promise to behave?

Little Johnny: Yes, sir.

Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

Little Johnny: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours.

Little Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Little Johnny: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Little Johnny: Because of the sign.

Teacher: What sign?

Little Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow. "That's what I

did.

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.

Little Johnny: I hope you didn't either.

Teacher: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.

Father: What's that?

Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Little Johnny: I is...

Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."

Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."