Two boys were skinny dippin and the one couldn't help noticing the size of the others manhood, so he asked "How did ya get it that big?"

The other boy responded "Well I rub it down every night with lard."

Two weeks later they were back at the swimming hole. Once again there was a comparison made with no results. The first boy said "I did what ya told me. Every night I have rubbed it down with Crisco."

The other boy exclaimed "Well no wonder, that's shortening."