Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three.
The rest are true stories.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could
only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.

What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
 Senator.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

What does a lawyer use for birth-control?
His personality.

What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig just won't do.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked
lawyer?
Chelsea Clinton.