"You're,... so feminine." (Actually a Question) ==> Do you do
                      laundry...cook...windows...bake?

"Let's be romantic... turn out the lights." ==> Beer gut? What beer

gut...Ohh....uh..o.

"You want..." ==> I know what you should want.

"We need..." ==> I want.

"Do what you want and sulk." ==> I'll just sit on the couch.

I'm feeling romantic tonight. ==> There's no game on tonight.

I'm not emotional! And I'm not over-reacting! ==> I'm losing my hair.

"I had her." ==> I had (wet dreams about) her all week.