lot.  It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They
     have no wife to go home to... or they do.
     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     I saw in the paper the other day that there's a serious shortage
     of men in Washington DC.  I commented on this fact to my wife and
     told her I might just go there.  I added that the article said that
     men could earn $50 a night easily as a gigolo.  She smiled and said,
     "And exactly how do you intend to live on $150 a month ?"
     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     My wife says she holds me responsible for most of our martial
     problems.  Just goes to show ya how much she knows -- I'm never home.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------

     I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me; my firm,
     trim body or my intellect.  She said, "Your sense of humor dear."
     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     I found the neatest way to make my wife a more careful and defensive
     driver.  I pointed out that if she's ever in an accident, the paper's
     gonna print her real age.
     ------------------------------------------------------------------

     My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he
     told her she couldn't make love.  Now, I'm wondering exactly how he
     found out.
     ------------------------------------------------------------------

     Sometimes women say the strangest things when ya get them all upset
     and flustered.  Just the other day my wife put her hands on her hips
     and  said "You're only interested in one thing, and you can't even
     remember what the hell it is !"
     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     My wife is so talented.  She does the best bird imitations. She
     watches me like a hawk.