On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'

Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

Guys: No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus

(translation of the Greek):
'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'

A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race Let's see who can go downhill the fastest

Sign in King's Canyon in California.
'Slow Parking Ahead'

MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down.
The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'

Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago:

restrooms
<-----
Please wait for hostess to seat you.

Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT: Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at 7:30pm.

Seen in a health food store_
" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot "

"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."

I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here...

You have to bring your own.