Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed
up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. 
"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed. 
"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of
this, I can only give you one wish." 
"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of
that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because
after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money
I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love handles,
though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles
removed." 
"Poof!" 
And just like that... her ears were gone.