Police Quotes
   ===============

 
   "The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch
   out after you wear them awhile."

   "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

   "So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means
   I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

   "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
   it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

   "Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
   again or I'll give you another ticket."

   "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
   drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

   "Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
   oven."

   "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

   "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but
   now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

   "Just how big were those two beers?

   "In God we trust, all others are suspects."