PRISON VS BEING A HOUSEWIFE

In prison you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids

to eat it.

In prison you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids

can spread

more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again

because little

Jr. can't sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home you get to listen to your children fight over the remote

control and

get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot

and worry

about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the

next twenty

years.

In prison all your medical care is free.

At home you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill out trillions

of papers

for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit,

talk and

then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean

up after

your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang

out in

your own space all day.

At home you get to clean your space and everyone else's space, too,

and what

the heck is free time again?

In prison you get your own personal toilet.

At home you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order

to keep

from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till

you're

done so you can do something for them.

In prison the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.

At home you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else's,

and get

yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt isn't clean.

In prison they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison the guards transport all your personal effects for you and

make sure

nothing is missing.

At home you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your purse

and then

wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison there are no screaming or whining children or spouses

asking you to

do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn't.

At home....stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?