Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" (Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.)

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting
up with her shit.
(Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.)

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. (Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL)

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. (Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL)

Beauty is only a light switch away.
(Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.)

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. (Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.)

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. (The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.)

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. (Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.)

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. (Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.)

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! (Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.)

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. (Revolution Books. New York, New York.)

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
(Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.)