You Know You're In A Redneck Hospital When...

---Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.

---Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.

---Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.

---Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

---Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.

---Your Gynecologist is Ernest.

---Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

---The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.

---Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

---Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.

---Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

---Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

---You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

---You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

---The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.