Redneck Olympics

10. Doves released during opening ceremonies are promptly shot by
the crowd and sold as concession snacks.

9. In an amazing coincidence, every proposed Olympic venue turns
out to be owned by the Governor.

8. The big event is the 100m Sisterchase.

7. Instead of shooting at boring targets, archers take aim at
muskrats and ATF agents.

6. Urine drug test transformed into "Distance Pissin
Competition."

5. Olympic Village replaced with Olympic Trailer Park.

4. Awards of gold, silver and bronze medals replaced by award of
gold, silver, and bronze teeth.

3. Opening Ceremony is a Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle
rockets.

2. Hometown favorites falter in gymnastics competitions due to
all them extra toes.

1. Two words: Billy Bobsledding.