If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft...

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try

eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What

kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration

problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to

do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you

noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup

of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.

I'm running late now.

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50 Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00