Restroom Signs

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit.
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill,
North Carolina
Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're
going to have trouble with it.
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
---Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom
Express Lane: Five beers or less
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's,
Beverly Hills, CA
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a
dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
---Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.
---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona. 
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your
hands.
---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY