The following are Internet responses from teachers who were asked to submit
the worst analogy ever received in an essay by a student.

1. "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
2. " McBride fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
3. "From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."
4. " Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hairs after a sneeze."
5. "He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree."
6. "The hailstones bounced off the pavement like maggots thrown in hot grease."
7. "They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences like Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."
8. "John and Cheryl had never met. They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met."
9. "The thunder was scary, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken back stage during the storm scene of a play."
10. "His thoughts were all confused and tangeled up, like underpants in a dryer without Cling-Free."
11. "The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.