the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on
              the bed. Sometimes the living room floor allows
              the subject to really spread out.
   Ms Smith:  "Bathtub, living room floor?  No wonder it hasn't worked
              for Harry and me."
   Salesman:  "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
              every time, but if we try several locations and I shoot
              from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with
              the results.  In fact, my business card says, 'I aim to
              please.'"

Ms Smith: "Pardon me, but isn't this a little informal?" Salesman: "Madam, in my line of work, a man must be at ease and take

              his time.  I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but
              you'd be disappointed with that."

Ms Smith: "Don't I know! Have you had much success at this?" Salesman: (Opening his briefcase and finding baby pictures) "Just

              look at this picture.  Believe it or not, it was done on
              top of a bus in downtown London."

Ms Smith: "Oh, my!!"
Salesman: "And here are pictures of the prettiest twins in town.

              They turned out exceptionally well when you consider their
              mother was so difficult to work with."

Ms Smith: "She was?"
Salesman: "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her down to

              Hyde Park to get the job done right.  I've never worked
              under such impossible conditions.  People were crowding
              around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

Ms Smith: "Four and five deep?"
Salesman: "Yes and for more than three hours, too. The mother got so

              excited she started bouncing around, squealing and yelling
              at the crowd.  I couldn't concentrate.  I'm afraid I had to
              ask a couple of men restrain her.  By that time darkness was
              approaching and I began to rush my shots. When the squirrels
              began nibbling on my equipment I just packed it all in."

Ms Smith: "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh.., equipment?" Salesman: "That's right, but it's all in a day's work. I consider my

              work a pleasure.  I've spent years perfecting my patented
              technique. Now take this baby, I shot this one in
              the front window of a big department store."

Ms Smith: "I just can't believe it." Salesman: "Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my

tripod so that we can get to work." Ms Smith: "TRIPOD?!?"
Salesman: "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my equipment on.

              It's much too heavy and unwieldy for me to hold while I'm
              shooting.  Ms Smith?...Ms Smith?...My word, she's fainted!