Why we have lawyers...

1.  
January 2000.  Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler
who was running amok inside a furniture store.  The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving
tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.

2.  
June 1998.  Nineteen-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over Carl's hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice that someone was at the wheel 
of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.

3.  
October 1998.  Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
exiting a house he had finished robbing by way of the garage.  He was not 
able to get the garage door to go up as the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door between the 
garage and the house had locked when he pulled it shut.  The family was on 
vacation, so Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.  
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.  
This upset Mr.Dickson, so he sued the homeowner's insurance company, 
claiming the situation had caused him undue mental anguish.  The jury agreed 
to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

4.  
October 1999.  Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbor's beagle.  The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced-in yard.  Mr. Williams was also in the yard.  The award was less 
than the amount sought because the jury felt that the dog may have been 
provoked by Mr. Williams, who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with 
a pellet gun.

5.  
May 2000.  A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft
drink and broke her coccyx.  The beverage was on the floor because Ms. 
Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6.  
December 1997.  Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued
the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two front teeth.  This 
occurred when Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out through the window 
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.  She was 
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.