Windows 98 Recall
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the West Virginia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside West Virginia.
If you have one of the West Virginia editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The West Virginia edtion may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. Someone didnt think this out since WV was union, not conferderate! It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs. And instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes D shore
no = naaaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done
Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 98: tiperiter = a word processor
colering book = a graphics program
addin mershene = calculator
scratch paper = notepad
jupe-box = CD player
inner-net = microsoft explorer
pichers = a graphics viewer
IRS = M/S accounting software
IRS2 = M/S accounting sofware with hidden files coon dog = American Kennel Club records fishin = Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records NRA = National Rifle Association
shot gun = Remington arms price list
riffel = Winchester price list
pisstel = Smith and Wesson price list
truck = Ford and Chevrolet dealers in Kentucky by zip code house = nearest mobile home repair service by zip code car = same as truck
cuzzins = family history (usuall a 3 meg file) tax records = usually an empty file
shells ammunition inventory (another 3 meg file) bud = list of Budweiser sellers by zip code racin = NASCAR racing schedule includes a list of tv stations that carry the races
car n truck parts = nearest junk yard by zip code doc = vetrinarians by zip code
We regret any inconvenience it may have cause if you received a copy of the West Virginia edition. You may return it to Micrsosoft for a replacement version.